Ears and eyes

Arguably, the most important organs for a rewarding life.

At the beginning of my career, I had the opportunity to work in several organizations.  During that period, I watched a number of consultants who were engaged to improve various aspects of the organizations’ operations.

Almost to a one, the consultants who came in were smart, highly credentialed and well-intentioned. However, the end results of their work were frquently disappointing.

Upon reflection, a primary reason for this pattern emerged.  It was that the consultants would enter the fray with their solutions, an approach that all too often ignored critical – and sometimes subtle - factors specific to the organization they were advising.  Among the critical factors frequently given insufficient weight were the perspectives and priorities of the organizations’ employees.

Experience taught me that often the best and most actionable ideas for improvements already reside somewhere in the organization. The task is to unearth those perspectives, to get them out on the table where they can be better understood and fleshed out, and to build on those that offer the best potential. In other words listening and watching first, deciding later.

And so, as I aged, I learned (all too often, the hard way) that one’s role and hopes are rarely realized by telling others what to do.

I learned that this is true not just in organizations, but in friendships and families as well. It’s OK to give advice, but best do it sparingly. Far better to be a sounding board, an empathetic and interested listener, than an oracle or authoritarian. As expressed by the contemporary columnist  Nicholos Kristof,  “the best way to get others to listen to us is to first listen to them.”

Think about those who have contributed most to your life. Chances are, they have been coaches and believers in yourabilities, ideas and aspirations. They watched, they listened, and then helped you build on your best attributes.

The Lord gave us two ears and two eyes, to inform one mouth, for good reason.

What do you think?